What does a second or third cousin removed once or twice mean? Before delving into the intricacies of cousins removed so many times, an understanding of relationship terminology is needed—some familiar words today previously had different meanings. For example, during the 17th and 18th centuries, “cousin” referred to a niece or nephew, and, adding to the confusion, “niece” and “nephew” could indicate granddaughter and grandson. (Refer to an etymology dictionary such as etymonline.com for clarity regarding other arcane terms and spellings.)

CURRENT ENGLISH TERMINOLOGY FOR RELATIONSHIPS

In the English language currently, a cousin is a person who shares a common ancestor with another person, but is not a sibling. The most common types of cousins are first, second and third.

First cousins share at least one grandparent. They are the children of aunts and uncles, and they are of the same generation.

Second cousins share great-grandparents and are the children of first cousins.

Third cousins share great-great-grandparents and are the children of second cousins.

COUSIN AND RELATIONSHIP CHARTS

Tracking family relationships can be complicated, and determining how one person is related to another is sometimes difficult, especially when you come upon second, third or fourth cousins. To best follow along, refer to one of the many free Relationship Charts and Cousin Charts available at genealogical sites, such as Family Tree Magazine, Rootsweb. com, and Ancestry.com. Downloaded charts include instructions for use.

Cousin removed occurs when two relatives don’t have the same number of generations between them and their most recent common ancestor. One generation difference equals one remove. Thus:

Your parent’s first, second and third cousins are also your first, second and third cousins—but once removed. More specifically, your mother’s first cousin is your first cousin once removed, and her third cousin is your third cousin once removed. This is because your parents and their generation are one above yours. Likewise, your grandparents’ first, second and third cousins are also your first, second, and third cousins, but twice removed.

A half-cousin shares one grandparent with a cousin, rather than both grandparents.

A “kissing” cousin is not one you marry, but any distant relative you know well enough to kiss hello at family gatherings. So, how close of a cousin is too close to marry? States have different laws governing consanguineous marriages, but The Code of Canon Law (Canon 1091) of the Catholic Church forbids the union of first cousins, which is viewed as a hindrance by ecclesiastical law rather than divine law.

Many people’s ancestors married cousins, knowingly or unknowingly, due to their limited mobility. Therefore, a person can be related to the same person in multiple ways.

Double cousins are a special category for the offspring of brothers and sisters-in-law, such as if your sister marries your husband’s brother. Instead of sharing one set of grandparents, double cousins share both sets of grandparents.

KINFOLK

Informally, kinfolk can extend to include non-blood relations, such as close friends who are regarded as family. In the earliest census records, you may notice that when a family member moved, the same neighbors appear in the same consecutive census, indicating they relocated as well. When the nation was new and many biological family members did not immigrate, people grew close to their neighbors and viewed them as kin.

Fictive kinship is the term anthropologists use when kinship is neither consanguineal (biological) nor affinal (by marriage); it is the “family of choice.”

Othermothers kinship indicates a female with no biological ties to the family but who fills a family’s maternal role with the expectations of obligation equal to blood-relatives and who becomes part of the extended family.

One example of othermothers kinship is established between Jesus’ mother and the apostle John (John 19: 25-27): Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

Distant cousins can be a huge asset to your family history search. Second, third and beyond cousins, who may be a generation or more removed from you, may have photos that weren’t passed down through your line or may be a treasure trove of family information. Communicate with them! To connect with distant cousins, start with surnames, then find family forums, sign up for societies, browse blogs or even create a family reunion in person or virtual.

NEXT UP: How to Decipher Old Handwriting and Scripts

Ruthy Trusler is a communication consultant with a passion for genealogy. For over 20 years, she has helped families document their ancestry and write their family legacies.

This article appeared in the March 2025 edition of The Catholic Telegraph Magazine. For your complimentary subscription, click here.